Don't know where you're coming from but you're coming soon.

I now understand what those people mean when they say that they always feel the fat girl inside.  I know it isn't much, but the 13 or so pounds that I've lost since the new year (I guess that is a lot on a 5'1" frame) are really starting to show, but I don't feel different.  Everyday I wake up afraid that it will all come back when I get out of bed.  I don't know if I can explain this in quite the right way, but I've been trying and wanting to get this weight off for years.  Maybe eight years?  It's gone up and down a little bit, but I've never been this dedicated.  I just got to the point where I refused to believe that that was what I was supposed to look like.  I can look so much better than that.  And I do?

But I still feel it.  I hear people make comments about the 8 lbs they lost this week (really?), or how so and so is up to this and that weight (my weight now) and she's really concerned about it.  It makes me wonder if people realize how HARD it is.  I know what it's like to gain ten pounds in a month after a break up.  I know the difference between how I was treated by strangers then vs now.  I see a difference in my friends too.  Maybe it's just that I feel better about myself.

I refuse to go through this life miserable.  I don't want to be the girl at the bar making comments about all the other girls in the bar.  Live and let live.  I have too much to live for.  There's too much I haven't experienced.  I don't want to take myself for granted anymore.

Do people realize just how good life is?  We all have our hard times.  I cry my tears when I have to.  But, life IS good.  When we realize that?  Stop complaining.  Stop second guessing.  If something doesn't feel right, it probably isn't.  Move on.  You'll be better for it.