Even I know that.

I can still pinpoint that moment when I knew that everything would be different.  It was a feeling of giving up but yet knowing that I was absolutely doing the right thing.  I can remember going to talk about it with everyone I could--was I making the right choice?  I guess sometimes, if we have to talk about it that much, we already know the answer.

I was scared to death.  Here was this thing I had wanted so much since I could remember.  Being adored.  Hearing how much they loved me.  I needed the constant reminder that I was doing the right thing--I still do.  And it wasn't happening anywhere else but through this one thing that I was about to say goodbye to forever.

I sit in these classes.  I think about how crazy it is that I have accomplished all that I have--the girl whose parents didn't think she would make it through high school without giving up.  Is it the things that people least expect from us that make us work harder?

Everything that I once thought I would be--without question--seems to fade into different focus over time.

Everything that I thought I would have accomplished has shifted into ideas and stories I never could have written.

And while my first inclination is always to run away--far away--I think I need to stay put this time.  And just be.