Focus. And Breathe.

If you are on anyone's profile on myspace, you might notice that the advertisements have something to do with what is on that page.  For instance, there was a link for "Bright Eyes T-Shirts" on mine when my profile song was by Bright Eyes.  I just went to my own page though, and found that there were THREE links for "Soul Mate Indictors" and so on.  Which is funny.  I have a quote on my page about how I don't believe in soul mates as life partners.  Soul mates really should be people who you learn something from.  And then move on.  And I totally believe this.  I have had my share of soul mates.  People that I have learned so many things from.  And I believe that anyone can be a soul mate.  A boyfriend, someone who I have 2 dates with, a friend, a co-worker.  Anyone who you have any type of relationship with--anyone that you can learn from--is a soul mate.  So I find it funny that people who visit my myspace page are invited to "find their soulmate".

I'm not looking for a soulmate.  I'm looking for people to share my life with.  Friends.  Family.  Mostly, people who I can have good conversation and a glass of wine with.  Am I scared of being fifty and single?  Sometimes.  But mostly, I worry about being fifty and alone.  I need my friends.  I need relationships.  Not a relationship.  Relationships come and go.  Good sex doesn't last forever.  Not that I don't want that too.  But conversation and intimacy go hand in hand.  Right now--conversation has to stay on my mind.  Keep the pact.  Keep the pact.  Keep the pact.