Sorting it out.

I was looking through my old emails in my old work account at Kidville this morning.  I've been thinking a lot about it--conversations that I have had with someone wanting to open a similar place in CT put it in my mind--and now it won't leave.

Kidville was the last place that I was employed in NYC.  I was a teacher for kids under five in music, art, preschool and cooking.  It was incredible.  The place was a machine.  It worked so well.   And I loved what I was doing.  Even with my apartment situation and living with my parents and being completely broke, I still didn't mind going to work everyday.

I was only teaching there for two months or so when they came to me with a management position.  I wasn't planning on staying in the city for sure.  I mean, I was looking for apartments there, but I was also applying to jobs in Austin, Denver, and Seattle.  I had no idea what I was doing.

So they told me about this job.  Assistant to the Director.  At a company I loved.  And I LOVED my boss.  She was wonderful, and I would be assisting her.  It was a dream come true.

I went on the interviews.  About 4 of them over the course of two weeks.  I met with the owner.  I met with the owner's mother (oh, weird.  I know).  And then the two managers.  And I was offered the position.  And a lot less money than what I was expecting.

I still thought about it.  But when you're "dating" someone (and I put dating in quotations for reasons that everyone that reads this knows) and he's in a different state, you really start to think about what you want.

We all know what happened.  I didn't take the job.  Do I regret it?  It depends how much I think about it.  I very easily could have taken it, moved to Queens and been happy enough.  And the company has grown since then.  They opened two new centers, and when they offered me the job, they pretty much told me that I would be in charge of one of the new ones when they opened.

I can picture what my life would be if I had stayed.  And I struggle with it.  I know that I would have continued to move up in the company.  But is climbing the corporate ladder really me?  Even if it is through teaching and children?  

Sometimes I can still feel the city in me.  They say that after living there, it never goes away.  People always go back to it.