The Art of Non-Dating

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Some people are serial monogamists. Some are serial daters. I have never been either and frankly, I don't think I will ever be. I am what I like to call a serial non-dater. I don't know how to describe this thing that I do because I didn't make up the term for it. It was made up by someone that I non-dated. I don't think that this was the first time that I did it. It's a pattern with me. We non-dated for about 5 months or so and we'll just say that I now realize that he just wasn't that into me.
So, here's the deal with non-dating. It requires eating out (for which he'll usually pay, and you usually feel like you should offer to because you aren't dating, but then again you feel like you should be dating so fuck him, he can pay), beer (and let's be honest: vodka, wine and tequila too), and making out (the reason for my exsistence, really). There are rules too: 1) You can non-date many people at once. There are no limits. 2) You shouldn't talk about the others that you are non-dating with someone that you are non-dating, although, if it comes up in conversation it's not uncomfortable because you aren't dating and hey, he probably has a girlfriend somewhere anyway. 3) You don't stay over at eachother's places. This is what someone in a relationship does. You are not in a relationship. Leave before 4 am.
Ok, so rereading all of this, I sound like a ho. I understand that. But I'm not. The truth is that all these people that I've non-dated, I have had feelings for at some point. And the thing about non-dating is that you aren't allowed to get hurt. Once you start to hurt you have to let it go. And maybe that's why non-dating never lasts.