The Pickle Jar Theory

Sunday, September 17, 2006

A long time ago, I read an article that really rang true with me. I believe it was sometime back in high school, and it was probably in some trashy magazine that my sister had in her bedroom (I was notorious for stealing her Sassys all through middle school, not that Sassy was trashy but well, you get the point). It was written by a woman who had this whole theory about relationships in her life and how they were similar to that of a pickle jar.
The idea is basically based around the fact that pickle jars are incredibly hard to open. And there are certain women (cough cough) who are really good at loosening them. We spend our lives in these relationships that we think are going somewhere. We loosen up the jar, so to speak. Just when we think it is about to open, they cut us off. They move onto the next one who then gets the jar that is all ready to go. We pickle jar gals spend what seems like a lifetime priming men for relationships and never get to enjoy them. We get the struggle. We get the soreness. We never get the pickle.
I can think of at least five times in the past four years where things seem to be going well. It's never the best situation but there is hope that maybe it could be. A couple of months later, the person who couldn't commit for the life of them is in a long term relationship with the girl they met at the bar one night. And it is in my humble opinion that they wouldn't have been ready for this relationship if I hadn't been so willing to loosen the jar. So, again, I have served my purpose.
Sometimes I want one of those plastic bumpy circles that makes it easier to open the pickle jar, but over the years I have realized this: We get stronger. The jars become easier to open. Every relationship is a work out. We become more daring. More willing to take a chance. Because it turns out that if you bang the lid of the jar against the counter, it usually will loosen up for you. And then it's just all about enjoying the crunch.